Fear nothing: 13 life rules of a strong woman

This is a very simple and true text about what is really important to remember, when you lose heart.

1. One day you will realize that you have been left alone. The truth is that you have always been alone, but the understanding is usually delayed. Parents die, husbands betray, lovers deceive, kids grow. Or you leave them, because they've become strangers. What worked yesterday is broken. No matter what happens, remember: loneliness is always behind you like winter. Maturity is an ability to be alone without dramatising it. Better get ready in advance, I will tell you how.

2. Anybody, except close relatives, can be replaced. Nobody and nothing is irreplaceable. Let new people in your life, even if you don't yet understand if you have anything in common. One day you will realise that you have been left alone and this will save you.

3. Always try new things: food, clothes, routes, gadgets, activities, films, books, theories and the explanations of the Universe. Brain is made of a lazy chewing gum. The further you go the more it wants to bend only in the same places, its other groves tend to disappear. Do not allow it to stick to the same things, pleasures, ways, methods and tricks. Always try new things, especially when you are lazy, scared or do not want to. One day you will realize that you have been left alone and this will save you.

4. Forgive all the people you can forgive, forget the rest. Oblivion is the best punishment and the best remedy. And don't argue with anybody, better get your nails done.

5. There is no hurry. All that happens too quickly does not live long. If you really want to achieve something - you will. If you don't want it anymore, than it was not needed. Postpone risky desires and acts. Do something you are not sure of only if the desire haunts you for a long time.

6. This point adds to the previous: if you want something badly and it feels right, do it. Desire is life. Let the desire live inside you and watch it. If it does not disappear-follow it.

7. Don't give up whilst you desire something. Luck is the experience, the number of repetitions. Any failure is lack of experience and is compensated by experience. Courage and risk are experience. Something that at times looks like utter impudence is experience. Resistance, tolerance, ability to forgive, stability and independence are all experience. The most important thing is don't give up whilst you desire something.

8. Nothing is the end, even the end: it is only a flow. Remember about this in desperation, in grief, at the grave of a friend, reading the letter of a loved one who left you. Certainly there will be a day when you say: «For the best!» (especially this relates to the loved one). Nothing is the end: one day you will realize that you have been left alone and this thought will save you.

9. Nothing is the end, but the end is close by. And it is useful to think that the end will be tomorrow. Then it is easier to follow these rules.

10. Do what you want but take care of your body otherwise it will suddenly pay you back. Get a habit of asking what the body wants and do it. If you never listen to your body and don't know how it talks, start with simple things like a walk in the forest, swimming or yoga. Then it will happen by itself: the body is waiting for being heard.

11. Romance, love and passion-this is all beautiful. But if you confuse them with sex, you can be left without sex for a long time. And this is silly and not healthy. Make sure that you have sex. Let romance and love when they come, find you in bed with a new lover.

12. The last thing to worry about is what people think about you. People in general think about themselves and also-about you, measuring you by themselves. That is, they don't think about you or each other. Do what you want and refer to point 7.

13. Beware of confidence. Confidence is the beginning of dotage. Doubt, consider alternative options and leave the ways out for yourself and others. I doubt every point I wrote. But at this moment I rather leave it as it is. One day I will be left alone and I will check if all this will save me.

P. S. This is the only point for which I don't have any doubts: take care of you friends. Friends are the only thing that is worth accumulating (I have managed so far). One day I will realize that I have been left alone, and then friends will turn up right away and say: you are totally crazy, you have us. And this is true Смайлик «smile»

Polina Gaverdovskaya // Translation: Veronika Wirth

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Летняя терапевтическая группа «Про любовь»

Это будет уже вторая летняя терапевтическая группа на эту тему. На этот раз мы ждем вас в августе. Приходите! Будем снова говорить о любви. Что для вас любовь? В каких вы отношениях с ней? А она с вами? Хотели бы вы что-то понять про нее, любовь? Про себя с ней? Без нее? И что для вас лучше - когда она есть или когда ее нет? Кому и сколько нужно любви? Как пережить, когда ее меньше (или больше?), чем нужно? Где ее искать, как от нее отказываться? Да мало ли, какие могут быть у нас разные отношения с любовью…

Еще мы будем говорить о чувствах, которые сопровождают любовь - о страсти, о нежности, о близости, о радости и грусти. О чувствах, которые останавливают любовь - о злости, ревности, зависти, о боли и обиде. О том, какую цену приходится платить за любовь… и какую за ее отсутствие.

Группа будет длиться всего 3 дня. Именно это время будет отведено нам на жизнь в группе. За 3 дня можно успеть многое или ничего не успеть, можно рискнуть и сказать о самом важном или уйти, оставшись со своими чувствами и мыслями наедине. Вы сможете рискнуть и побыть настоящим, не пытаясь казаться и соответствовать чьим-то ожиданиям, сможете просто поделиться чем-то важным, почувствовать принятие и поддержку. И мы, ведущие, тоже постараемся быть честными с вами, а главное - с собой.

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Шестидневный терапевтический интенсив «Возвращение»
Шестидневный интенсив по работе с созависимыми состояниями. Киев, июль 2017 года.